Still no news about a baby. I was really hoping God would intervene & prevent us from spending a lot of money for a baby. I guess not. I also had my hopes up that we would find a baby without an agency, but it looks as if that isn't going to happen either. I know all of this is a crazy process, but I'm ready for it to be over. I just want a baby so bad, someone to take care of and share all my extra love. Justin tries, but he doesn't quite fill the hole that is in my heart. I have asked God to provide something to fill that hole, but I can't see anything yet. I just don't know what I'm going to do, I don't know if I can continue with out getting depressed all the time.

Our county fair is going on this week..its a big deal here. Anyway I thought that might help, get me out, away from my house so I wouldn't think about it. Well..that didn't work either, all I saw were young pregnate girls, & older ones or families with babies. Its really hard when I see friends that I know that have only been married for a couple years with a couple kids.

I feel like I've waited long enough, but I guess God wants me to wait a little longer. I told God that I need his help because I can't do this alone. For some reason I feel like life has gotten harder recently and its not letting up. I don't know what else to do.