Life

Why does it always seem that things go so much easier & better for others. I have been feeling a little, ok a lot depressed lately. I look at all the things I have, a wonderful husband, a roof over my head, plenty of $ to meet our needs, vehicals that work, and a lot of love. I look at all the families with little kids, a house, and just wish I had all that. I am having a hard time with my brother getting married & the fact that they are looking at buying a house. Not just any house, but one in the country with plenty of room, extra cottage, basement, ect. It seems like a great thing. I want to be happy for them, but I can't. I am jealous. We still don't have a huge house, barely enough room for us and our rabbit. :) We will have room for a baby, but not a toddler, but we can't buy a nice house. Why does it feel that God is giving my family members so much more. I see blessing for them & I don't understand it.

I know I am doing my best to follow God's will, but it seems like God is really testing us, when everyone else is getting everything they have always wanted. I am trying to be content and I was doing well for a long time, but I just feel like my house isn't good enough because it is only a 2 bedroom mobile home, and not a real house.

I hate feeling like this, but I just wish God would bless me more.

I know God has given me all kinds of things. One is the fact that I have a personal relationship with him. I have a wonderful, God-fearing husband, and a wonderful chuch family. Why does it have to be so hard. I feel like I've never caught a break, my life has always been hard and it seems as if my siblings have just been blessed with no trouble at all.

I know we would have more $ and be able to do more if we weren't adopting. I also know and thank God for all He has provided financially for the adoption. I want God to just bring our baby to us soon. I am tired of waiting. I know when a women is pregnate, she waits, but she also knows when the baby is due, there are dr.'s appointments and so much more to help with the waiting. When you adopt, there is nothing to help with the wait. It is very hard to be trusting and not blame God for the waiting process.

I really don't know what to do and how to trust God. We have had many posibilites for babies that have fallen through. I know that there is a baby that will fit in our family very well out there somewhere, but its hard to know when God will provide.