No News

We still haven't heard anything about the young baby. I know we still have a couple more days to go, but my hope that the baby will live is dwindling quickly. I really don't know which way to go next. I just feel blah.. not sure how i really feel. I can't even put it into words. I want a baby, but at the same time I don't want to go through the trouble and loss of getting one. I am a little depressed. I know its easier to say than believe, but God will take care of everything. I know He has the right baby for us at the right time. I know there is a reason for this delay.

I heard from our Homestudy agency, apparently they didn't have all our info, even though they told us everything was in & accepted a couple weeks ago. I was a little distrubed when they called & told me that some of it was missing. We have sent this stuff in so many times. I don't think I will deal with this agency again.

I am trying to listen for God's voice and do what he wants us to do. I guess I am just not listening hard enough. I know God will tell us our next step when its time, but its really hard to just wait on his timing. I guess I got my hopes up way to quick.. everything seemed too good to be true and right now I'm starting to believe it was. I still have this small wish that we will get a call and the baby will live & there will be nothing wrong with it.

I know its a small glimmer of hope, but it is still there. I am starting to have a hard time being around babies again. I was doing better when I was excited about us adopting one, now I am just not so thrilled. I know I shouldn't be like this and I want to change I just don't know what to do other than pray and that I don't even feel like its doing anything.